My underwear smells like fireworks.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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