she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
