i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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