I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
