Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
