If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
