She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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