this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
