Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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