I could make wine with my vomit
i drank out of a bidet.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
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The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
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Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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