YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
