You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
