Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
