He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
