I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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