i wish there were pregnant emoticons
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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