never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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