New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
