ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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