this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
