**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I had to cum in my sink.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
