What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
