Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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