I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
