She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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