youre lurking in front of me
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
