He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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