Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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