It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
