Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I believe in your delicious
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
