ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
