u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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