she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
