Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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