he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
