Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
