At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
