How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
