And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
