okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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