do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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