Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Drunk is not a location!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
