it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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