Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
