That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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