i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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