You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
