There was a lot of him and a little penis
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
