the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I believe in your delicious
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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