I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
