Buhtt sex?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
