Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
