xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Is Oprah even human
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize