I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
