It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
