does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
