I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
