He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize