cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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