I'm drive I can fine osifer
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My bed smells like the plague
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
