I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
